When you become a parent there are something’s you think and hope you don’t have to deal with when it comes to your children’s behaviour. This may not seem that bad but it is an important thing that for some reason at the moment my daughter is struggling with. That is to Be Kind. To Be Kind to everyone.
The past 2 days my daughter has been struggling to be kind with her friends. There is a couple of them that are not being nice to 1 other girl in particular. The school have dealt with it very well and are on it. It’s just hard to deal with when it is your child doing it. Things between them for a while have been a bit hit or miss but they had or what we thought had sorted it.
I was quite angry when I picked her up from school as I was disappointed more than anything. I have never had issues with my son. He just seemed to play with everyone and anyone. But not lily she has her 1 best friend that she has to copy and do what she is doing all the time. She does play with other children and they all love her but she has 1 friend in particular and these 2 aren’t being kind to another child. Speaking to her best friends mum she feels exactly the same and in shock. I did seem to calm down and speak to Lily and told the other mum they are only 6 and they are still learning. They will get there (i hope).
So, the next day we went in all positive and when I picked her up she told me they were chasing another girl and being quite nasty to her. When I asked her why she said her friend told her too and she didn’t like this other girl. It’s driving me mad, again the school sorted it and they are not allowed out at playtime but they didn’t speak to me. Lily told me everything. I was at my wit’s end, she is 6 what is making her feel like this and do this? We have had many talks about how we be kind and how everyone is different. I feel like I can’t get through to her.
So I decided to take a different approach, remembering that she is only 6 and talking at/to her won’t work. So I made up some role play situation where, me or her could act them out and talk about how they would make or made her feel. They were nothing to extravagant about it as you can see. But we took in turns and acted them out and found ways in which we could make it better and find a different way to deal with it.
I then gave her a little, simple questionnaire to fill in about ‘buddies or bullies. These had different statements and she had to circle a ‘happy’ face if she thought it was a kind thing and a ‘sad’ face if it was a nasty thing. Again we went through them and spoke about them after. These are only simple activities that I literally made up on the spot as her behaviour at school towards others were driving me mad and had to think of something.
I then made her a jar at home (idea from pinterest). Simple small jar I had made a label and stuck
it on the jar. We are putting in a ‘warm fuzzy’ like a warm fuzzy hug for when she is kind at school. When it is full up she gets a treat. Another way of doing a reward chart. She was very happy with this and seemed more positive.
These are nothing special and cost nothing just a different way to get through to my daughter and try to get her to understand about how people feel about certain things and to be kind to everyone.
(UPDATE: 2 days on it has worked so far)