April 16th ’18- Why am I even Studying?

First day back today. I am dreading it. I have had about 5 weeks off from Uni. Not by my choice but because we have had no lessons. I have still been teaching but I enjoy that. The lesson I really do not enjoy.

I started my PGCE in September with all positivity to think that it will be a year out of my life that I can concentrate on becoming a teacher and specialise in Childcare and Education.  It was a big decision for me to give up my job, especially as I am a single parent with 2 children. I had quite a good job, worked  30 hrs a week and ran the baby room within a nursery. Had over 40 babies on role and 7 members of staff in which 1 was a student. I loved working with them and cuddling a baby but some of the hours were so long. I would work 9-6 2 days a week and (as well as different hours on other days) I was knackered. My mum had to pick up Lily for me and I wasn’t really spending quality time with her or Josh.  I had to go in some evenings for meetings and training and the work load was ridiculous. The next step for me was to become a manager of a nursery and I didn’t want that. I would have loved to have gone into Primary Teaching but I don’t have my Science.

So I choose Further Education. Post 16. I had students in the setting before and enjoyed teaching them new things. However the actually PGCE it’s self is not a great course. They don’t teach you how to plan a lesson, or write a scheme of work. They don’t teach you how to handle behaviour when  it comes to the classroom with older students. It is about things that don’t seem relevant to what I want to teach.

I enjoy the teaching side of it. I teach 16-19 yr. olds. Yes they can be hard work at times but normally i’s ok. I learn so much more from my mentor than I do in my lessons. I have completed 3 assignments now and feel like what has been the point in them? I spent £7500 on this course for what? So I can have the title of PGCE which allows me to teach Childcare.  We had 2 tutors to start off with who would both give us different information in relation to our assignments and had no idea what was going on. I have to say I am not the only one who feels this nearly everyone on my course does not enjoy it. There is a lot that don’t even want to go into teaching anymore. Surely a course shouldn’t be like that? It needs to be engaging to students and to teach them things that they will be using in a lesson like planning and marking work not about bloody neo-liberalism. That is not going to help me or my students.

To top it off both of out tutors have left, just like that without any notice and now we  have another teacher on one day who is so boring (half the class left at lunch on Monday it was that bad) I’m sure he just read off a Powerpoint that he had no idea what was on it. To support him there was also some lady who was helping. Like seriously we are adults 2 of you? On Friday we have someone else again. It’s ridiculous. None of us know who to contact, especially for observations and then get some random person. Great.

I cannot wait for this year to be over. I have loved the teaching and I have loved having more time with the kids and not being so stressed all the time. That has been the best thing ever but seriously where is my money going?